Signed, Your Huddled Masses

My husband isn't with me. Not because he doesn't want to be. Not because I don't want him to be. Not because he is deployed. Not because he is deceased. Not because he is on vacation. Not because he is in jail or prison.
But because he is in the immigration system.

I hear them, "Illegals are criminals." Their crime being that they wanted a better life, the "American dream" without a ready, legal passageway. They say this in a country that was built by immigrants.
Written on our Statue of Liberty:
“Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed, to me:
I lift my lamp beside the golden door."
-Emma Lazarus

In contrast, the United States is almost revered as an exclusive club for those "worthy." Worth being boiled down to whether or not you were born on its land. Seems those bronzed words ring empty now.

For what they've done, crossing into "our" land. They are sentenced to be cast away pending further investigation/scrutiny/paperwork or none at all. Yanked away from their families. Yanked away from the life they built and had struggled to obtain.
Do you think they wouldn't have tried to become legal if they could? If it were that easy, don't you think they'd be able to have insurance, pay taxes, be accountable?

What test are you put through to become a citizen? Whether or not you were born.

We shouldn't HAVE TO wait for our husbands, our wives, our family. We shouldn't HAVE TO fret of their safety. We shouldn't HAVE TO worry whether or not they can even come back. We shouldn't HAVE TO have the run-around. We shouldn't HAVE TO have this stress.
Why, because a better system can't be figured out? Why, because "if it's not broken, don't fix it?" Why, because it's more complicated than that? Why, because just because?

Why don't you just go live there with them in Mexico/Honduras/El Salvador/ETC? Because it would just be that easy to uproot my family, my life, cut my ties, have enough money, move our possessions, become a citizen there, perhaps never see my friends or family again if I don't have money to make the trip to visit?

There isn't a good enough reason to justify the heartbreak or dull the pain.

Actions speak louder than words. But when all you have are words, you try to make them count.

Unvoluntary

Can't stop thinking about him leaving. What it will do to me. What it will do to her. What it will do to him. What it will do to us. There is nothing voluntary about voluntary departure. He is forced to leave. Immigration reform can't happen quick enough. There is too much to worry about in the same time period. Her first birthday. The immigration interview. His (in)volunatary departure.

These are important growing times for her. I would think at least. She's still learning a lot. But she will have to live with a father in a different country. Hearing him on the phone. A bodiless voice. Will she forget his face? Even skyping, will she connect that he is her father? That it wasn't his choice to leave us. That this isn't what having a dad normally is like. That normally he would be there to hug her, kiss her, love her. Will she see me sad/upset and wonder why? Will this mess her up? When (and hopefully not if) he comes back will there be alienation? Stupid irony, he is an alien here and will come back alien to her?

I worry about her first. Priority worry. First her, then him, then me. What if something happens to him? I hear it's dangerous. It's yellow on the travel list! Not that I know what that exactly entails.. but USA is green. Will I be able to send him money or only have enough for us here? He will be separated from us, missing us, feeling anxious, while I'm in the states trying to get him back. He says it's hard to find a job there. They don't get paid as well as people do here. What if his living arrangment falls through?

Am I going to become a recluse? Whenever you say "no", "no thanks", "can't make it out", "sorry I don't feel like it" to friends enough times, you fall off their list. Is that going to happen? I'll corner myself off? I don't want to but sometimes you can't do what you want. I have the most amazing best friends but it's understandable if it happens. They have their own lives and worries.

What if I start crying and can't stop? How can I function if I cry all the time? I have responsibilities.

A lot of what ifs, whys, questions. I'm not going to know until it's happening.